I have always been all about New Years Resolutions; setting about in December to list my goals for the upcoming year, prodding my reluctant husband to do the same. I usually have fitness resolutions, relationship resolutions, and personal resolutions. I try to keep them, too. I’m not perfect, but I usually do well with things I’m serious about. The things I don’t do well on, I reevaluate and often realize that I’m not in the right time or place to achieve those goals and I set them aside for a later date without guilt.
But this year things are different. All December every time the thought of resolutions would come up I would feel restless. I couldn’t come up with anything. No, not because I’m already perfect, just because I couldn’t. I couldn’t give you a reason, but it was leaving me feeling disconcerted, guilty, and frustrated. How could I, a personal trainer, driven lady, go getter…how could I not come up with a single, solitary New Year’s Resolution?
Finally I gave up. I didn’t give up in a defeated way. I stopped beating myself up over it. I started thinking about my last year’s resolution and I realized that part of my problem was that I did not hit my resolutions last year because they were too big. I had had a semi-long term illness that stole from me a lot of my fitness and brought with it depression and sadness that I’m still dealing with. (That’s also why you haven’t seen newsletters from me. Sorry about that.) Not hitting those resolutions took a toll on my already battered self esteem more than I think I realized. I think the bottom line was, I was afraid to make goals that I might fail at again.
So I decided rather than make New Years Resolutions, I was going to work on my goals one week at a time. This week I know I have a relatively light week, so my goal is heavier. Last week I had appointments, meetings, and disruptions that kept me from my fitness goals, but rather than beat myself up over it I just set my goals lower for the week. After all, goals are not about beating ourselves up when we can’t hit every single day. They are about making us stronger mentally, emotionally, and physically.
Just giving myself the mental break from making “resolutions” this year really helped me to feel better about things, more centered, like I could move into 2019 with a sense of purpose that was going to get me where I want to go. I do have some long term goals for the year, but they aren’t “resolutions”. They are goals that I know have that will require me to continue with my weekly short term goals in order to hit them.
So if making resolutions is harshing your happy mellow in 2019, let it go!! Think shorter term! All of our big goals are made up of tiny little goals that we do over and over again, so if that’s what it takes to help you move into the new year feeling positive and empowered in a way that resolutions don’t, don’t feel guilty. Just do it your way!