Podcast 6
Even Baby Steps Move you Forward
So you’re about five or six weeks into your lifestyle change. You started out big and bold…you stopped eating sugar, you started working out six days a week, you haven’t had coffee in over a month.
In short, you’re miserable.
Are you miserable because of the changes you made? No, not at all. All those things are healthy changes. But that’s a lot of change in one fell swoop! So let’s put this thing into perspective.
Making a true lifestyle change can, and should take time.
Here’s what I see in a lot of clients. And please understand, this isn’t a criticism at all. I had the same experience. They start out all gung ho. They are eating clean foods, exercising with vigor and are PROUD of themselves. They lose weight and are thrilled with the program.
Then one day I don’t hear from them. One turns into two. I contact them to make sure everything is okay. They’ve had a setback and are angry and frustrated with themselves because in one day, one bad moment, they slipped back into old habits. They don’t want to tell me because they were doing SO well and they don’t want to admit to what they perceive as failure. That’s when it is time to step back and get perspective.
This is a lifestyle change. That means you have a LIFEtime to get it right. We aren’t perfect. In fact I often tell people that they aren’t allowed to be perfect because perfect people suck. After all, who wants to hang around with a perfect person? I’m not perfect, and neither is anyone else. While we might strive for progress, we need to let go of perfection.
So let’s gain some perspective on this change.
Would you rather make 100 big changes in a week that don’t stick?
Or
Would you rather make 10 changes over 10 weeks that DO stick?
I’d rather make 10 changes, one at a time, and work towards healthier choices.
This usually comes as a relief to clients…someone is giving them permission to NOT be perfect! To make small, sustainable changes, to take baby steps.
Even baby steps move you forward.
Look, this is a journey. On every journey there are pit stops, side tracks, and detours. The goal isn’t to hit the road running at mach speed and careen into the goal only to find a year later you’re back right where you started! The goal is to take a journey that is full of experiences that enrich your life and teach you new things.
Since we’re using the journey analogy, what is ultimately a more fulfilling and interesting trip? A trip on a jet plane where you fly in a generic tube from one city to another, stay in a generic hotel, hit your intended destination, and then turn around and go home? Or is it the journey in the car that breaks down along the way, where you take time to visit the view points and local museums, take lots of pictures, laugh a lot, cry a little, and learn something new about the places you pass through?
I’ll take the latter, thank you very much.
When I re-started my own weight loss journey, that was the permission I gave myself; to take it slow, learn how I could work my weight loss program into my life so that I didn’t feel deprived. My rule for making mistakes was that I could NOT beat myself up over them, but I had to learn from every one. I didn’t try to change everything overnight. I focused first on eating within my calorie goals, then on changing my diet to a healthier diet. I started exercising once I had the food part down, and started that slowly. I crawled before I walked, I walked before I ran. Sometimes on the run, I’d slow down to make sure I was heading in the right direction. Sometimes I even tripped and a few times I fell. When that happened, I’d backtrack a bit and work on fitting that new habit in so it made more sense in my life and I wasn’t fighting against it.
That doesn’t mean it wasn’t frustrating, or that I didn’t get angry with myself at times. It just means that I started with perspective and tried to maintain that perspective throughout the loss, and into the maintenance.
So how can you infiltrate baby steps into your lifestyle change? I think it starts with giving yourself permission to do it! Make it okay to not be perfect out of the gate.
Then work on one thing at a time.
At first it might me finding ways to eat healthier every week. If you’re adding full cream to your coffee, drop down to half and half or whole milk. If you’re drinking soda, switch to diet soda or calorie free flavored water.
Make a small change that has a big impact.
Sometimes it all feels too overwhelming, even if you’ve been at it for awhile. Often when people hit this point they throw in the towel. All of their forward movement is lost. They give up on what was a successful endeavor. But does one mistake, or even 100 mistakes, make you a failure? No, each mistake is a learning opportunity. It is a character building opportunity. It is an opportunity to step back, nurture yourself a little and say “What is going on here?” before moving forward.
So what DO you do when you’re ready to throw in the towel? Let’s make a plan, together, today. After all, forewarned is forearmed. Here are my suggestions when that exasperating moment hits and you are ready to give up and give in.
1. Stop whatever negative behavior your are having in its tracks. Most of the time it is going to be negative and hateful self talk. No! No more. Remember, we agreed no negative self talk.
2. Look at the situation. What is overwhelming you right now? Is it a change in work? Child going through a rough stage? Adult going through a rough stage? Fear of something coming up? Acknowledge that and give yourself PERMISSION to feel frustrated or scared or freaked out.
3. “Go back to Kindergarten.” That means ask yourself “What can I do?” rather than focusing on what you aren’t or can’t do right now. Maybe that means you ONLY exercise every day. Maybe it means you ONLY focus on your new habit of journaling. Maybe it means you ONLY focus on positive self talk. In other words SIMPLIFY. It doesn’t mean start over, it just means step back. When your tough patch is over, you’ll get back into it.
For a long term lifestyle change we really have to think long term. That means this won’t be a straight shot, and you have to be okay with that. Baby steps are better than standing still, and even standing still is better than going backwards! So don’t let the roadblocks keep you from reaching your goal. Step back, evaluate, baby steps, and restart when you’re ready!
You’ve been listening to Tory Klementsen on Journey Fitness Radio. I’m a personal fitness trainer and weight loss coach who has been there, done that, and knows what it takes to go from flabulous to fabulous. If you’re interested in help with your own personal journey to better health, please contact me at tory@journey-fitness.com or visit my website at www.journey-fitness.com. I look forward to hearing from you and have appreciated your letters!
The music this week is Beach Boise Loop by The Podcast Troubadour and is available at from http://music.podshow.com or www.podcasttroubadour.com.
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