By Tory Klementsen
In any new lifestyle venture, we make many changes. Those changes impact our lives, and it’s important that we figure out how to fit our lives into our lifestyle change, and our lifestyle change into our lives. Often that leads to frustration. How do I juggle children, weight loss, a new exercise regime, work, being a spouse, being a friend, and on…and on…without going crazy?
This doesn’t come easy. It can become overwhelming trying to juggle all of this along with the emotions surrounding making these changes. So often we look around at others and think, “How is it that person has it all together and I can’t even manage to put on two matching socks in the morning?”
First of all, give yourself a break. The beauty of a LIFE change is that you have your entire life to get it perfect. No one expects you to be perfect, so you have to stop expecting that of yourself. You’re going to make mistakes and those mistakes can be extremely valuable. Face that right up front and give yourself permission to make mistakes. Too often we think of mistakes as bad, but mistakes are invaluable! The value of a mistake is the lesson you take from it. If you can look at every mistake as a learning opportunity, take the lesson from it, and work not to repeat the mistake you’re doing great.
Work on small changes one or two at a time. Do not try to overhaul a life of unhealthy habits overnight; you will simply get frustrated and eventually give up. Maybe this week work on adding more vegetables to lunch and dinner. How hard is it to pack a cluster of carrots for lunch, or boil a batch of Brussels sprouts for dinner? Next week you can add another new thing. If it is too overwhelming for a week to add something new, make it a goal to focus on the new habits you have already added.
As you make these changes, make them changes you can live with. Don’t try to do something someone else does just because it works for them. When I first started my own weight journey, I got a LOT of unsolicited, well-meaning advice. “Don’t eat after seven!” and “Don’t snack between meals!” and “You have to eat this” and “You can’t ever eat that.” I think one of the smartest things I learned to do was smile and nod and walk away. I knew this was a lifetime commitment so it had to work for my life. So you know what? I eat after 7:00 every night. I snack between every meal. So how did I lose over 100 pounds breaking all the “rules”? I did it because I set my own rules. I like to have a snack before bed, so I saved calories every day so I could have a snack at night. I knew I’d break if I tried to only eat the requisite “three squares” so I planned 5-7 small meals a day. Is that the “right” way to do things? It doesn’t matter. What matters is that it is the right way for ME to do things, and that I’m still making healthy choices. What is the right way for YOU?
Remember that this is a process. If this week all you can do is replace your candy bar a day habit, with a candy-bar flavored granola bar that is 150 less calories, then that’s great! If staring at a plate of vegetables makes you turn green, start with what you DO like and try a new veggie every week. If you’re not feeling the love from hubbard squash, there are a LOT of other vegetables out there to try. Don’t head out the door to run three miles if you haven’t laced up your sneakers since your senior year in high school, start with a walk and work your way up.
As you build these habits, build in specific non-negotiables and communicate those, as you feel comfortable, to your family. For example, my workout in the morning is non-negotiable. If someone asks me to come into work early, I tell them, “I’m sorry, that’s not possible” and then suggest an alternative time. If I have to reschedule, I will but only under very specific circumstances. I will not cancel. Barring illness, my workout is non-negotiable. I have a number of other things I am inflexible on as well. No, not because I am demanding and want things my way, but because I know what I need to do remain healthy fit and healthy and I’ll ask for that. Learning to speak up was one of the hardest things for me because I tend to be one of those people who says, “Whatever you want to do is fine.” So now I try to be the one to suggest two or three places to eat, two or three entrees for the dinner party, or two or three healthy activities for the weekend. The beauty of non-negotiables is that setting these boundaries are for YOU as well as for others. When I want to hit the snooze alarm and roll over, I remind myself, “Your morning workout is non-negotiable” and I get out of bed.
It may sound cliché, but a journey of a thousand miles DOES begin with a single step. Not only that, it is made up of a lot of tiny little steps taken one right after another. Sometimes you’ll make long strides. Other times you may be taking baby steps. What is important is not the size of the step, but that every step moves you forward towards your goal.
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